Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think a kid would responsible me up
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
