I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
