we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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