Plan B is the new Plan A
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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