Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
