I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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