# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
