and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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