don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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