Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
