the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
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I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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