I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
