Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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