Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
