just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
