I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
