last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
