i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
