This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
