I'm drive I can fine osifer
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
