you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
