Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
