don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
