This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
