At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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