Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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