i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He felt like a one man threesome
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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