I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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