Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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