the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
