Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
