people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
