Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
