Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
