I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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