I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
porn star boner night. come get it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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