can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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