her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
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Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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