Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
