I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
