I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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