just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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