I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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