We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
