I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
