paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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