i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
