so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
