you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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