I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
