i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
