your parents love me but you hate me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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