We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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