Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
