So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
