We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
