you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize