I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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