Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize